Ungakhuluma kanjani nezingane ngokugula kwakho kwengqondo

Ukuphila kahle

Ukuba ngumzali kuyinselele ezimweni ezifanele kakhulu — kepha lapho umzali naye enenkinga yempilo yengqondo, izingcindezi ezijwayelekile zobuzali zingaba nzima kakhulu ukuzilawula. Njengomzali ophila nokudangala nokukhathazeka, ngivame ukukhathazeka ngokuthi lezi zimo zingazithinta kanjani izingane zami. Ngikuchaza kanjani futhi kungani ngingeyena umzali ojwayelekile kubo ngezindlela abangaqonda futhi bakhule ngazo?

Ukuqala, kufanele sazi ukuthi abazali abanesifo sengqondo basabalulekile futhi bayigugu. Kubalulekile ukuthi wazi ukuthi imizabalazo yezempilo yengqondo ayikunciphisi ukubaluleka noma umthelela impilo yonke yomzali, kusho UMaureen Gomeringer , I-MSW, i-LCSW, i-psychotherapist kanye nomsizi womqondisi wemitholampilo e-MindPath Care Centres eCarolina Partners eNyakatho Carolina.

Kubalulekile ukucaca kulolu daba ngoba ukukhathazeka, ukudangala, i-ADHD, kanye nokuphazamiseka kokusebenzisa izidakamizwa kungadala ihlazo elinjalo kubazali kangangokuthi bangaqala ukubuza ukuthi ngabe izingane zabo zingaphila kangcono ngaphandle kwazo, kusho uGomeringer. Kunezimo ezimbalwa kakhulu lapho impendulo yalowo mbuzo inguyebo.

Izinselelo zokuba ngumzali onesimo sempilo yengqondo

Noma kunjalo, ukuba ngumzali olwa nempilo yengqondo kudala izinselelo ezihlukile. Ukukhathazeka nokukhathazeka kwemizwelo kungenzeka ukuthi yizinkinga ezivame kakhulu zempilo yengqondo abazali okungenzeka bazithole, kusho UVictoria Shaw , I-Ph.D., I-LPC, i umeluleki enembile nomqeqeshi wabazali . Lokhu kubandakanya ukucindezeleka kwangemva kokubeletha nokukhathazeka, okuthinta abomama abasha abalinganiselwa ku-10% kuya ku-20%.

Kalula nje, Ukucindezeleka kungenza kube yinselele enkulu ukwenza imisebenzi elula nokuzinakekela, ingasaphathwa eyokunakekela izidingo eziyinkimbinkimbi zengane yomuntu, kusho uShaw. Umzali ocindezelekile naye angaba nobunzima bokuxhumana ngokomzwelo nengane yakhe, futhi angakhungatheka kalula noma akhungatheke yimizwa, izidingo, nokuziphatha kwengane yakhe.

Izingane zibheka kubazali bazo ukuthi zikhulise imizwa yazo uqobo, futhi lapho abazali benesithombe sabo esonakele ngokugula kwengqondo, kungenza inqubo ibe yinkimbinkimbi ngokwengeziwe.

Ukwehluleka ukuzilawula nokulawula imizwa yomuntu kusho ukuthi kunzima kakhulu ukuxhasa izingane zakho ekufundeni ukuzilawula, kusho uShaw.

Izinkinga zokukhathazeka zingaholela kubazali ukuthi bavikele ngokweqile noma bahoxe emphakathini. Lokhu kuyinto engilwa nayo njengomzali onenkinga yezenhlalo. Ama-Playdates nezinye izimo zenhlalo zingibangela ukucindezeleka okukhulu, futhi ukuphendula kwami ​​okungokwemvelo ukuphuma. Yize lokhu kungenza ngizizwe ngingakhathazeki kangako, kungahlukanisa izingane zami ngoba zithembele kimina ukuthi ngibe umqondisi wazo wezenhlalo.

Ukufundisa izingane zakho ngempilo yengqondo

Noma ngabe ungumzali onezifo zengqondo noma cha, kufanele uqale ngokuchaza impilo engokwengqondo nengokomzwelo ezinganeni zakho ebusaneni futhi uqhubeke nezindlela ezishintshayo ezifanele iminyaka yobudala yengane nokukhula kwayo.

UGomeringer uveza ukuthi siyakhuthalela ukufundisa izingane imikhuba emihle yempilo yomzimba, njengokudla okunempilo, ukulala ngokwanele nokwenza inhlanzeko. Ukunakekelwa okufanayo kufanele kunikezwe ekufundiseni izingane ukuthi zinakekelwa kanjani impilo yazo yengqondo.

Ngesikhathi sobuntwana besencane, lapho abazali befundisa izingane zabo ngezilwane nemisindo nezitho zomzimba, ukwethulwa kwamagama wokuzwa kufanelekile futhi kuhlakaniphile, kusho uGomeringer. Ukukhombisa izingane ukuthi ziyini imizwa yazo nokuhlanganisa umuzwa nesenzo, into, noma umuntu abaphendula kuye kuyisisekelo sempilo enhle yengqondo.

UShaw ucindezela ukuhlukanisa imizwelo nezenzo. Imizwelo ayikaze ibe nephutha, kepha izenzo zingaba njalo. Yazisa ingane yakho ukuthi kulungile uma uzizwa uthukuthele lapho umfowabo ebamba ithoyizi [lakhe], kodwa akulungile ukumshaya.

Ukukhuluma ngempilo yengqondo nezingane

Kungasetshenziswa okufanayo ekukhulumeni nezingane ngempilo yengqondo yomzali uqobo.

1. Vuma uma ungenamusa.

UGomeringer uphakamisa ukuthi abazali babhekane nezenzo zabo, bevuma lapho besabele kabi esimweni.

Yisho amaqiniso, kusho uGomeringer. Ingxoxo ingahamba into enjengale:

Umama uyacasuka futhi akhungatheke kalula kwesinye isikhathi. Uma lokho kwenzeka, umama kwesinye isikhathi umemeza kakhulu futhi akabekezeli kangako — njengalapho ngikuklabalasa ngithi awunendaba nalutho futhi ubudelela ngokulahla isiphuzo sakho kukhaphethi. Ngiyaxolisa ukuthi ngamemeza nokuthi ngathi awunandaba nanoma yini. Ngiyazi ukuthi unendaba kakhulu nokuthi ubuzama ukuqaphela. Ngiyazi ukuthi kube ingozi. Nezingozi ziyenzeka. Angikholwa ukuthi ubudelela. Kwesinye isikhathi umama usho izinto ezithukuthele, futhi lokho akulungile. Ngiyaxolisa. Ngizosebenzela ukusebenzisa amagama ami ukusho ukuthi ngizizwa kanjani esikhundleni sokusho izinto ezithukuthele.

Yisho ukuthi wenzeni kabi, nokuthi uzozama kanjani ukuthi ungaphinde ukwenze. Ungesabi ukusho ukuthi uyaxolisa uma usabele ngokweqile.

2. Chaza ukuthi ukugula ngengqondo akulona iphutha labo.

Izingane zivame ukungena ngaphakathi, ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuziqinisekisa ukuthi ukugula kwengqondo yomzali akulona iphutha labo, noma umthwalo wabo wokuphatha. Ukuxoxa ngesimo esithile umzali anaso, njengoba nje ubungaba nesimo somzimba, kungasiza uma kufanele iminyaka.

3. Khumbuza izingane ukuthi uyazithanda.

Kumele futhi bazi ukuthi abazali babo basabathanda nokuthi baphephile, futhi bayanakekelwa, kusho uShaw. Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu uma ukugula kwengqondo komzali kubangela ukungakwazi kwakhe ukunakekela ingane yakhe noma kubangele ukungabikho njengokulaliswa esibhedlela.

UGomeringer uxwayisa ukuthi bangaqhathanisi ngokungaziphathi ukuziphatha okungasebenzi nokubonisa uthando. Izingane zidinga ukwazi ukuthi abazali bazo bayazithanda, kepha ukuthi ukungezwani kungadala ukuthi ukukhuluma nokuhlangenwe nakho kwalolo thando kuhlanekezelwe.

4. Chaza ukuthi uluthola kanjani usizo.

Into ebaluleke kakhulu umzali ophila nokugula ngengqondo angakwenza funa usizo . Akusizi ukukhuluma ngezimo zempilo yengqondo njengezingapheli noma ezingaguquki. Azivamile — ekujuleni kwezimpawu noma ekululameni, kusho uGomeringer. Izimo zempilo yengqondo zingahlala unomphela ngalezo zimpawu ezingabuya. Kepha umthelela ungashintsha kakhulu ngokusekelwa ngochwepheshe, amakhono okubhekana nezinkinga, amakhono wokulawula imizwa, nokusekelwa komphakathi. Kubalulekile ukuthi izingane zazi ukuthi ukufuna usizo kungenza izinto zibe ngcono.

Ngokuthola ukwelashwa okufanele, ukuziqwashisa, kanye nokukhulumisana okuhle phakathi komzali nengane (kufaka phakathi ukuvuleleka kweminye imibuzo engahle ivele), abazali abanesifo sengqondo bangaba ngabazali abanakekelayo, abanakile futhi abaphumelelayo. Khumbula ukubanakekela, udinga ukuzinakekela.

OKUhlobene : Izinhlelo zokusebenza ezinhle kakhulu zokusiza ngokuphathwa kwempilo yengqondo